Happy Melantines Day!

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No I did not do a defamation in my pants.  Just ignore my last post, it was nonsense.  It was one of my clients who searched the terms “Christina Massage Envy” because he wanted to read reviews about her.  His next appointment was with Christina and he wanted to know what he was getting himself into.  After reading my post about her, he cancelled his appointment and decided to go back to the South Windsor branch.  Oops…….

Ha ha, of all the people to search those terms, it was one of my dear sweet clients landing on my dear sweet blog.  What are the chances?  Shit…..

Anyway, I think I’m getting sick dammit.  Everyone is sick at Massage Envy.  The table in the break room is covered with tissue’s, cough drops and medicine.  Oriana, my coworker at the other spa I work at is sick with bronchitis.  I’m being pelted in all directions by hell germs.  Germs from the depths of firy hell!

And today is my birthday.  Valentines day.  The day where most people make plans that don’t involve me.  They would rather spend it with their sweetie’s eating boxes of chocolate and wearing edible undies.  Well those people can choke on their underwear goddamnit.  No, just kidding.  Or am I?

Seriously though, choke on your goddamned edible underwear.  Valentines day is for chumps.  “Oh it’s so romantic!”  Fucking chumps….

I’m sitting in Cheshire Coffee.  I just gave a massage down the street and have to go back to give another one in an hour.  I guess Cheshire Coffee will take the place of my beloved Starbucks.  But now I have Holly here with me.  She works across the street and comes here all the time.

I believe in a thing called mob mentality.  All it takes is one person to start an epidemic, and I am that person.  Massage Envy is turning on Christina by wanting to spit her out and I can’t help thinking that it’s all my fault.  If one person states their genuine frustrations and it is entirely felt by the majority of the people who empathize with her, the projected emotions get carried over from one person to the next creating an aura of emotion – a mood permeated with excitability.  An excitability wanting a change, a release, a breaking point if you will.

Last Saturday I went to Hibachi with a few Envy co-workers and learned that Jeff, the owner, is planning to sit down individually with each therapist in order for them to voice their opinions about Christina.  Apparently I’m not the only one frustrated with her, but my resignation has sprung a revolt.

When I’m not happy with a place or a person, I leave.  I don’t try to fight it, I just leave.  I didn’t expect any of this to happen, but oh well.  What did I expect to happen since everyone that I work with now reads my blog?

I AM A TROUBLEMAKER!

Oh I like that.  I feel like Tom Sawyer causing mischief.  Now all I have to do is stage my own death and free a negro and my Tom Sawyer transformation will be complete.  Holly told me not to write the word “negro”, but it’s in the spirit of Mark Twain.  And Holly isn’t the one writing this blog, I am, and I’m an asshole goddamnit.

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It’s now 2:31 am.  I just got home from the bar and watched one episode of Naruto (Season 3 episode 5) and here I am writing like an idiot at 2 fucking 31 in the morning.

After my last client, I went to the Thai Hut in Southington with some close friends to celebrate my abhorrent birthday.  The restaurant was packed and service was slow (as expected on crummy Valentines day).  People walked out after being seated for 20 minutes with having no acknowledgement from the busy waitstaff (consisting of two overwhelmed girls doubling as bartenders).

Angry customer – “The food was good, but I at least expected the waitstaff to know how to speak English.”

She actually said this.

It’s a THAI food restaurant lady!  And that waitress did know English you inconsiderate jackass.  Fucking people……

I, for some reason, have a high tolerance for long waits.  I can sit for hours and be completely content in knowing that eventually I’ll be served – even if I was the last to receive a meal, I’d still be happy.  But because It was my birthday, my friends were there because of me instead of choosing to choke on their edible undergarments, and so I felt their discomfort was completely my doing.

I was a wreck.

I was a nervous wreck during dinner at the Thai Hut.   My anxiety was at an all time high.  I was afraid I couldn’t even grasp my water glass without shaking like a leaf.  I’m not exactly sure why my anxiety was so high.  It could have been because we were there for an inexobitant amount of time waiting for service, or because of the mere fact of it being my birthday (always brings me anxiety).  It could have been because of my impending 20 day trek through the Himalaya’s or having to work with Christina tomorrow (who is ignoring me to the fullest), or possibly the soy latte I had at Cheshire coffee gave me the shakes – I don’t know but it was bad.  Very bad anxiety.

My two good friends, Brie and Paul, came out for my birthday.  They just found out today that they’re having a baby girl – That could have contributed to my anxiety.  A baby girl…..I’m 32 and STILL can’t imagine having a baby.  It’s just incomprehensible to me.

Brie and Paul ate before going to the Thai Hut, but they were still upset over the service being so slow (even though they ordered nothing but a soda) – that added to my anxiety.

One of my girlfriends who’s accompanying me on my 20 trek told me during dinner that she’s worried about me going.  She’s worried that I won’t be able to keep up, or hike for 20 days straight.  I taken this realization pretty hard.  I’m one of those sensitive types who believe what people tell me.  If she thinks I can’t do it, than I probably can’t.  Worried about me?  Really?  I’m a nervous wreck as it is and she’s worried about me?  I felt defensive and I hate feeling defensive.

Me – “Well, my job is really physical.  I use my legs a lot…….”

No matter what defensive remark I could say back, I can’t deny the fact that she’s right.  I’m not a camper, I never went on any big high altitude hikes and I’m not a knowledgeable world traveler.  I’m just a 32 year old baby still living at home and quitting jobs whenever they get the slightest bit uncomfortable.  Defensive people get defensive because they feel some underlining threat that what they’re hearing is true.  And I was defensive.

And I can’t quit the Himalayas.  Once I’m there, I’m there.

I felt really discouraged.  But then why was I invited?  Was it a mistake?  She was only voicing her concern, though.  I can’t be angry at her for being honest.

I’m laying in my  warm bed with Naruto paused on Netflix.  Joel brought me home from the bar.  I tell ya, that guy thinks I’m some brilliant person capable of anything.  He lifts me up higher than I deserve.  But it’s people like him that make me feel I can accomplish anything.

I’m going to the Himalaya’s for myself.  Not anyone else.  I have nothing to prove to anyone – I’m just going because I think it will be a great experience.  I’m going there for me and me alone.  I won’t lag behind.  I won’t falter or fall.  I’ll be an exceptional beginner climber!  If I can believe that, than it will be true!  And what I believe is all that really matters, right?

No, maybe I should worry.  I’m a booze hound lay-a-bout after all.  I have no real motivation.  I don’t like getting out of bed unless I absolutely have to.

I have to get vaccinated tomorrow.  I called up and made the appointment, but I have no idea where this travel clinic is.  Did I mention I’m a complete moron?  I have to be there at 10:45 am.  I’m so tired and I have to give five massages tomorrow after I get my vaccines.   Yes, complete idiot.  I’m an aging idiot.

But an aging idiot who’s hiking the himalaya’a and will someday cure cancer!

And now your moment of zen.

What I looked like by the end of the night:

That’s me under a pool table.