My new plan

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I haven’t blogged in a long long time.  It’s a long story, want to hear it here it goes.  It all started with me having to house sit for my brother’s two big dogs.

I’m a cranky person to begin with.  I have frequent up’s and down’s and can fly off the handle as fast as Malcolm and Dewey’s mother.  My brother’s two dogs, although cute and loveable, were both gnawing on my last nerve.

Gunnar woke me up every morning before my alarm.  I would get up out of bed, let him out, feed him, pet him and then leave him for a bit while I took my shower in private.  On one of those days, I emerged fresh and clean from the shower, stepped out into the hall with nothing but a towel wrapped around my head, and seen a huge pile of puke spewed all over the kitchen tile and over-lapping a corner of the floor mat.

“Awwwwahhh…..guhhh……Gunnar!”

I threw down some paper towel’s over it hoping it would sop up the bulk of the load before I had to manually mop it up.  I almost barfed.

“I told you not to eat that log last night!”  He was chomping on wood for the fireplace and must have ingested some.

Anyway, I was in a disgruntled mood – more so than normal.  I get annoyed by people easily when I’m like that.  People can NOT talk to me about every day platitudes when I’m like that.  I get bored when other’s talk and talk and talk at me.  It sounds like they keep talking in order to win my approval, but the more they talk, the more my eyes want to shut and it gets hard for me to breathe.

If people are interesting and real to talk with, then I love conversing with them (this holds true for all my friends – that’s why we’re friends!), but when people talk just for the sake of attention – Ugh, give me a break people.  I also get aggravated by those who assume they know me from a snap judgement.

The woman who I didn’t want to do massage exchanges with, assumed I didn’t want to exchange with her because I have a problem with being touched.  Um…what?  Is she furr-real?  That pissed me off.  Wouldn’t it piss anyone off?  Or is it just me?

I massaged an old interesting indian woman who sedated my affluent bitchyness.  She talked to me about India, her servants, her doctor son, her pharmacist son, and then numerology.

Me – “Oh, you’re into numerology?  I love stuff like that.”

Her – “I’ve been studying it all my life.  If I was to offer just one bit of advice to anyone, it would be to never live in a house that has a number 4, 8 or 9 in the address.”

Me – “4, 8, 9.  Okay, I won’t.  What happens if I do?”

Her – “Nothing good ever happens to you while living there.  It’s also bad if the numbers add up to a 4, 8 or 9.  Like if you live in house number 22, two plus two is four – very bad.”

Me – “Interesting.”

I started doing math in my head and wondered what numbers are safe.

Her – “What day is your birthday?”

Me – “February fourteenth.”

Her – “Your number is five.  Five is a good number.  It’s good a good communication number.”

Me – “Oh I suppose I communicate well.”

Her – “Do you get angry easily but then calm down quick?”

Me – “Uhh…Yeah?  I usually blame it on PMS.”  I said flippantly while massaging her feet.

She raises her head off the table and says, “Your element is mercury.  Mercury goes up and down fast.”

Me – “That explains a lot.”

Her – “If you want to learn more about numerology, go to http://www.ch%*#ios.com”

I couldn’t understand the web address because of her thick indian accent.  She was looking right at me and so I could’nt just nod my head and say “sure” like I normally do when I don’t understand what people say.

I smile and say – “Uhhh, ha, I don’t know how to spell that.”

She spelled it for me and it sounded like she was spelling “cheerios”.  I haven’t checked it out yet.

So, I have an affinity to anger easily, I live in a double trouble number house (54), and I just realized that the last three letters of my street name end in H-E-L-L.  Nightmare on 54 Hell Street sounds a lot scarier than Nightmare on Elm Street.  Boogedy, I just gave myself the chills.

Shoot, it’s late.  I’ll just say real quick that I haven’t been blogging because I got into gaming again.   I played my brother’s Xbox while I was house sitting – Red Dead redemption, which is AMAZING btw.  And when I was done with house sitting, I missed gaming so much that I bought Uncharted for my PS3 because my buddy, Jay, suggested it to me.

I also came up with a new fantastic plan to make money by selling my paintings, but it’s such a good idea that I can’t share it on my blog.  Not yet anyway.  Not until I have everything in order and my website up and running.

I just thought of my next goal in life and it starts with a capital R and ends with an uppercase V.  Yes, that’s right baby, you heard correctly.  RV!  I want to buy an RV and go cross-country.  But not only cross-country, I want to drive to Alaska, scoop back down thru Cali-forn-I-A, hit the grand canyon and that cool desert, wtf it’s called?  Death valley or something?  I want to spend time in the desert with some RV’ing gypsy’s before hitting up Texas and it’s Southernmost tip.  That’s where I’m going to see if I can ante up the cojones to cross over into Mexico.  If I can do it, I will.  And I won’t stop cruising until I’m safe and sound in Colombia.  I figure the hardest parts would be driving through Mexico, El Salvador and Nicaragua.  Especially with Connecticut license plates.

Once I get through into Colombia, I’m going to go down the Peruvian coast into Chile, then Argentina, Brazil, and end in Venezuela.  It’s a trip of a lifetime.  I might die.

I’m going to fund my trip by selling paintings online.  This is of course, depending on if my secret money making idea works.

So…….what do you think?

First things first, I need to start painting and setting up my website.  In the meantime I’ll be saving up tip envelopes to go toward an RV.  RV’s are expensive.  I’ll need to save about 2,000 tip envelopes, or I can just rent the RV.

I have 34 saved up so far.  Not a bad start!  Only 1,966 more to go.

Oh man I’m so tired.  I have to wake up early tomorrow and massage seven people literally back to back to back with no breaks.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “My new plan

  1. Steph

    Great I live at 839 AND my number is 4. I’m screwed! Can I come with you on your trip?

  2. Steph

    I sure can!

  3. Holly

    I’ll go with you on the trip. Plan it out 🙂 I may not do the South America part, I dont think I can handle rebels or drug lords. Mexico may be the biggest hurdle, and Columbia, Nicaragua, etc.

    • You can come, but I’ll be staying in Alaska for a few months, maybe longer. I might skip the south america part and just move to india instead. My indian client said I can live there for cheap.

  4. Pingback: My funny resignation letter and dealing with a bitch and a man-baby | melanie's blog

  5. Kay

    Don’t get terrorised with what she said. She could be a numerology enthusiast, and I can tell you she was not an expert.
    Wise people with real knowledge of numerology and/or astrology don’t scare people that way.

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