Dexter is my newest Netflix addiction. I’m already on episode 12 of season 2. Unlike True Blood, Dexter is available instantly to my tv, so it’s at my beck and call at all times. This is a bad thing.
I went to see King’s Speech last night at 9:40. I got home around midnight and watched two episodes, maybe three of Dexter. It was 3 am when I went to bed.
Whenever I get addicted to a series on Neflix, I start to take on personality traits of the main character. I did it with Xena and Buffy the vampire slayer, now Dexter is my newest character.
After I watched the two or three episodes, I lied awake in bed thinking about what I would do if I was in his situation. I put myself in his shoes, only do things my way – but my way turns out to be a lot like his way and I pick up his personality traits before I fall asleep and have dreams about strangling bad people.
I had a dream last night about grabbing someone’s throat. Dexter is sinking into me.
Am I a sociopath? When I’m at my house, I try to keep an outsiders view of things. I try to stay separate from the madness so I don’t become part of it. Does this turn my emotions off? Will I always be a spectator in order to impede my emotions? I stop myself from feeling so my anger doesn’t change me for the worst?
I went out to dinner last Sunday with 7 or 8 friends. I sat in the center of a long table, and was completely lost as to who I should talk to, who I should listen to. Everyone on all sides of me, chatting away non-stop as if they haven’t been out in a long time. And what do I do? I just sit there as a spectator listening to everyone. Even if I wanted to talk, I couldn’t see any way I could.
Who do I talk to when everyone is talking about different things at the same time? It’s maddening is what it is. And when someone specifically speaks to me, I don’t know if I should address the whole table, or just them? I think I have Assburgers syndrome. I have assburgers and I’m a sociopath.
I’m sitting at Starbucks. I waited in line to order my latte and when it got to be my turn, my latte was already there waiting for me at the register. That’s how long I’ve been coming here.
No more three episodes of Dex before bed every night. I’m beat.