My new business card

I’ve had many business cards over the course of my life.  When I was a little girl I thought that as long as my job required a business card, then I was an important person making lots of money. 

This is my new business card as of last night. 

I was originally going to write “Hi I’m Melanie and I write shit online,” but I wanted to make it kid friendly. 

I ordered 500 of them for $5.00.  Vista Print sent me a coupon.  I even got a free metal card case and $50 worth of free google adwords. 

This happened all last night at four in the morning.  I could not sleep.  I wanted to pick out the absolute worst business card design I could find.  I’m sure not many people order the pig with wheels.  I can’t think of any business that would want it.

I’m expected to get them in 14 days.  I will hand them out to anyone who wants them.  I’ll even hand them out to people who don’t want them.  I will go as far as hiring some short mexicans to stand on a busy street corner finger snapping my cards at passerby’s to get their attention.  You can find these little guys in Vegas handing out call girl cards.  While I was there on vacation, I started feeling guilty for ignoring these very hard little workers and so I kindly collected every call girl card and pamphlet that was handed to me.  And I did it with a big smile and ‘thank you!’

Instead of noticing the naked girl spread eagle on the card, I noticed the quality of the business card.  Heavy paper, glossy finish, professional photograph with good lighting.  Most of those cards that end up on the ground are of the highest quality.  Those business cards cost more than the girl they advertise, so it baffled me that so many of them end up littering the sidewalk.

Huh, I forgot what my point was.



Filed under journal

2 responses to “My new business card

  1. Steph

    OMG LOL I totally forgot about those little “snappers” LOL this made me laugh!

  2. Holly

    You were so funny collecting those business cards! It cracked me up!

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