I woke up today, went upstairs to make some eggs and I hear OCDC running water from the bathroom sink. He has a weird OCD tendency where he can’t talk while he is washing his hands. People can talk to him, but he can’t say anything back. That’s fine and dandy but he washes his hands so much that he had to find a way to communicate without speaking. If he can’t communicate his needs, he would have to do everything for himself. And he doesn’t like to do anything for anyone.
His profound intellect (my family thinks he’s very smart – almost at the genius level) created a sublime system to infuse with his nonlexical dialog. What did his superb ingenuity come up with? Well, I’ll tell you. He talks with his mouth shut.
The muffled sound that comes out of him in lieu of speaking is becoming the most dreaded annoying sound I ever heard.
My enabling aunt who’s complacent to his every whim stands idly by waiting for his next command.
OCDC – “Mmmmm Mmmmm Uhhhh Claaaaaaaa.”
Enabling aunt – “What?”
OCDC – “Mmmmm Mmmmm Uhhh Claaaaaa.”
Enabling aunt – “Oh, you want the wash cloth?”
OCDC – “Mmmmm Mmmmm.”
At this point my eggs are still runny. I stare at them and hope that my burning gaze would cook them faster.
OCDC – “Caaaaa huuuuu heeeee.”
Enabling aunt – “Okay.”
Hurry up eggs, hurry up. My toast is done, I butter it. Slide the eggs off the pan and onto my plate. Douse it in hot sauce.
OCDC – “Mmmmmm Mmmmm.”
I run back downstairs before I hear my aunt’s reply.
How does this malfunctioning, yet functioning family dynamic work? Because they have each other. As long as OCDC’s demands are met, he is satisfied. And as long as enabling aunt can meet those demands, she is satisfied. The feelings are mutual and everlasting until some snot-nosed little punk (AKA me) comes into the picture and destroys their fragile balance.
I go downstairs and log into facebook. My cousin (OCDC’s brother) keeps making false promises that OCDC and enabling aunt can go live with him and his wife in Louisiana. I wanted to send him a message asking him when that will happen.
I didn’t go through with it. I found his page and was ready to write the message until I glanced down and saw that he only had 20 friends.
This number stupefied me. One of his friends was his wife who sends him sweet wall posts such as ‘Love ya XOXO’ – ugh, plahh. Another friend was my mom. Most were family.
I started wondering if he is happy. If this poor guy is miserable, how’s he going to feel if he reads a message from me asking when he’s going to start taking care of his good-for-nothing brother?
A few weeks ago I complained about OCDC running the water all day and he freaked out at me. His voice was trembling in anger, “I CAN’T WAIT TILL I GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. I respect and love my aunt and uncle, but I CAN’T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE.” All while my enabling aunt tells me that he just started running the water a few minutes ago.
I was annoyed, but unemotional. For unemotional people to hear an emotional outburst is comical in a way. I wanted to laugh at him.
I sound horrible don’t I? I’m sure I do, but I lived with this for years and this is my only place to vent and get away with sounding like an asshole.
I received a text from a friend tonight on my ride home from work. She wrote about how much she hates her coworker’s and that it’s making her depressed. I wanted to write a post to help lift her spirits, but it turned into this instead. However, I do still remember my main goal for this entry was to quote Chris McCandless;
In his last journal entry he wrote: Happiness only real when shared
He was dying and figured out the main cause of his depression a few minutes (hours?) before he died from hunger and poisonous berries.
Misery loves company and happiness happens only when shared. Don’t let misery take over.
Overall I learned that certain people are going to be rotton no matter what you do. You just have to say, “Fuck em.” Honestly, it works.
I know you’re reading this in work right now and have no volume, but this song helps in putting petty annoyances in perspective. You can watch the video and read along to the lyrics.
Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow
Gonna rise up
Burning back holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold
Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
And suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold
Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole
Umm….It’s lot more soothing with the volume turned up.
OCDC is running the water again. I need to watch this video one more time. Breathe.