Let me start off by telling you how my day started.
I woke up to my Mother screaming at my aunt. Apparently she’s getting tired of OCDC’s 14 hour shower sessions. I was somewhat happy about that. At least now I’m not the only annoyed person living here. But as the fight wore on, I became extremely depressed. No, that’s not the right word. I’ve become extraordinarily depressed, angry, sad and even jealous of my friends who live in bliss in their own homes.
I wanted to lock myself away in a dark secluded room and just be miserable with myself.
Then I go to work to massage 6 clients. I vowed to give them the best possible massage imaginable (I always do that anyway) and not let my depressing life get in the way.
Everybody loved their massage, but my body feels like it went thru a meat grinder. Five clients were extreme deep tissue’s. I kept having thoughts like, ‘how long can I keep this up? How long will my wrists and fingers hold out?’
I skipped dinner because I had no time to eat, let alone chill at starbucks.
I collected my tips at the end of the night, taken a big sigh of relief and drove home. On my way home, my mom calls me (it was 10 pm) wanting me to pick up four subway grinders that I had to memorize since I had no pen.
I finally get home, doled out the grinders, put on my pajama’s and opened a letter personally addressed to me.
I’ve sold my first journal and this was the payment for it. It’s the amount of money they sent that has me baffled, shocked, astounded….etc.
It was so much that I don’t even want to tell you. Should I tell you? I don’t know what the right thing to do is.
Before this person sent any money, they sent me an email saying they can add an extra $20 if I would like. I told them it was not necessary. Is this my reward for not being greedy? I’m greedy when it comes to sushi. Maybe my sushi greed has no effect on karma (thank god).
The money is in the form of a money order. I’m going to take it to the bank tomorrow and see if it goes through. If it doesnt, well, at least I was happy for a little while. If it does go through, one credit card will be paid off and I’ll have some money left over for the next credit card that needs paying.
I don’t want to make this a horribly long post, but I just want to write a little bit about how I got into debt in the first place. I’ll make it quick.
It started with my first clunker of a car. I was 18, working 3 low paying jobs, trying to decide on what to do with my life when every single month, like clockwork, my car would die and need hundreds of dollars in repairs.
Okay, that’s one reason.
I quit all my jobs and became a realtor. My aunt was my only client. I would take her out every single day (in my crappy car, using my gas) for six months. SIX whole months EVERY day showing her every house for sale in CT. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, so I quit. One week later she went to a competitor agent (so I don’t get the referral fee) and bought the very first house that I showed her 6 months before!
I still can’t look at her without crying. You have to understand that I’m not embellishing any of this. Think about it. EVERY day for SIX months – multiple houses in a day. I want to cry just thinking about it. I was 20.
I went to massage therapy school and charged my student loan payments because I couldn’t make the minimum payment otherwise. I only worked on the weekends. I had to keep transferring my balances – paying one credit card with the other, kicking the heels of my credit card limit. But somehow I did it. I did it even with the torment of OCDC living with me.
I’m not a big spender. My debt is not from partying it up every night or buying clothes or coach bags. I wish I can say it’s from that. Instead I feel like an unfortunate chump who made all the wrong choices.
$2,925. They sent me $2,925.